There's crushing and then there's being crushed until there's nothing left. Have you ever felt that way?
That's where I've been and where I'm at.
I've been in the winepress and I am completely crushed. There are days where I look up at the sky and cry out to God saying, "I can't handle this!" My heart feels like it's going to break, explode, die or all of the above.
The old adage that "God won't give you more than you can handle" doesn't feel right to me*(see note below for more on this thought).
In fact, it's one of the most annoying phrases to me right now. Why? Because I know what it feels like to be completely crushed.
My daughter went to Heaven in March of 2019 after a 7 month battle with a rare cancer. During that season I watched her go through the crushing and it was just too much for our family. What most people never saw were the times where we cried -including my daughter Taylor, who always was so, so strong.
We cried because it was all too much. We cried because we couldn't "handle" it anymore. We cried because we were drained emotionally and physically. We cried because we were being crushed.
By the strength of God I am still able to wake up each morning and start my day. No, I am not "handling" it, rather I am enduring it and one thing I do know is that a new season is coming and something has got to change for the positive.
In the book of Judges chapter 6, Gideon is hiding out in a winepress, threshing wheat (which isn't what you do in a winepress) to keep it from the enemy who continues to destroy everything that Israel grows. He's been going through this onslaught from the enemy for 7 years.
Metaphorically speaking, Gideon had been in the crushing of the winepress, but things changed for him when the Lord called him into his new season. He called him mighty warrior. With those words, Gideon's new season began and he stepped out of the winepress.
I'm not in the crushing process anymore. All of me that could be crushed has been crushed. There is no need for me to linger inside that space.